Friday, December 27, 2013

Relationships Are Whatever You Make Them

Growing up on the kind of romantic comedies that Doris Day and Kathryn Hepburn made, and Leave it to Beaver, it's hard to see how I was not flummoxed by the other things I grew up with, like West Side Story, Gone with the Wind, and The King and I. In these latter, boy-meets-girl, but they sure don't turn out like a Doris Day/Rock Hudson, or Tracy and Hepburn film. We didn't know Rock's back-story until he was dying. Tracy and Hepburn were a not-just-movie couple, never living openly as a couple. Things were not always as perfect as they seemed. 

As Maria Bello concluded in her wonderful "Modern Love" piece, "Maybe…a modern family is just a more honest family." With my post-divorce coaching specialty, I am constantly confronted by people trying to put together new families, often with pieces that seem very disparate to them. There are the ex, the new lover, the step-kids from the now-ex-spouse, the ex-in-laws, and everyone's friends, among others.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Post-Divorce Dilemma: How Many Dates Do You Wait Until The First Kiss?

How many dates does one wait until the first kiss? It's an agonizing question that often comes up in coaching or therapy with the post-divorce set. It's usually prefaced by some nail biting, along with, "I've been out of the whole dating scene for so long," or, "I have no idea of how dating works anymore." 

A new study conducted by found that, "25 percent of Americans would wait until the third date or later to kiss for the first time."
One could also say that 75 percent of American would not wait until the third date or later to kiss for the first time. That number soars to 82 percent for us post-divorce folks. 

What's a girl, or guy, to do? There's no short answer to this, but here are some things to consider.  Read more here

Get information and reviews about dating sites here...

Mood music: Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not?, Thompson Square

Monday, November 25, 2013

Legal Las Vegas: Advice on Divorce, Alcohol & More

This guest post is contributed by Farhan Naqvi.
While it may not be known as the “City of Love,” Las Vegas is actually known as "The Marriage Capital of the World," especially for those looking to move as quickly as possible through the wedding nuptials to the honeymoon.
With so many impromptu marriage ceremonies, there are also numerous quick-turnaround divorces, both of which present certain legal issues that are unique to this desert oasis.
But is Las Vegas really the frontier town some people describe, with loosely applied laws and easy virtue? Not hardly.
The Myth of the Quickie Divorce
Okay. It is not a total myth but it also isn't a walk in the park. It is only easy when compared to the protracted war a typical divorce can be. The rules still read like the instructions to defuse an atom bomb; and it is still a good idea to get an attorney. A badly structured divorce will follow you home from Vegas.
If you do retain a divorce attorney, a Las Vegas Divorce is quicker than, say, a divorce in 49 other states. However, if you don't live in Vegas it isn't without residency requirements and other inconvenient things, called laws, that you must still obey.
Finders Keepers?
We all know that famous adage, meaning that whatever you find on the ground is yours to keep - it is a phrase that kids across the country use to govern daily activities.
These words though, have virtually no force in the casinos of Las Vegas, as all tickets and chips left behind by an unknowing visitor may quickly become the property of the management. While a gambler may assume they have struck gold by finding a winning ticket by the door, attempting to cash this check may be considered petit larceny (a misdemeanor) if the value is less than $650, or grand larceny (a felony) if worth more. This only applies to specific casinos though and is a rather native concept to this mecca of gambling where the house always seems to have the advantage.
Find the Right Place to Drink
Unlike many places in the rest of the United States, it is legal to have an open container of alcohol when in designated areas on the Strip and downtown. Furthermore, possessing an open container on public transportation is also permitted. This leads some to the erroneous conclusion that the drinking laws in Las Vegas allow consumption of alcohol virtually anywhere.
Though it is legal to possess an open alcohol container on the Strip, the containers must be made of plastic. Also certain dates make outdoor drinking in most locations illegal. Any violation of these laws may result in an arrest.
Because of the leniency of the laws governing open containers in certain parts of the city, many people unknowingly violate the law. Some believe that 40% of all tourist arrests involve a violation of the open container laws. When in doubt, ask.
Know the rules
No matter what you have heard, read or seen about the Las Vegas marriage, divorce or party scene, you have not entered a lawless backwater town built specifically for your care-free escape.
Like any other place in the nation, residents and visitors in Las Vegas are subject to rules and regulations that help support a stable society. With the flashy lights, exciting venues and hoards of visitors roaming the streets, the last thing on your mind is police, security guards, attorneys, and courts of law still, but they do still exist.
On the other hand, if it is your first time in Vegas, we might be lenient. You never know. After all, we want you to come back!
This guest post is contributed by Farhan Naqvi, an attorney at Naqvi Law in Las Vegas, NV. He was voted 2012 top personal injury lawyer by Vegas INC magazine.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

How To Know You're Ready To Date After A Divorce

One of the things virtually every client going through a divorce tells me is they can't imagine dating. They're not ready to even think about dating. It's not on their radar. It's the last thing on their minds. This thinking often continues post-divorce.
I know you're hurt, you're uncertain, and the marriage has been a bad experience in one way or another. Maybe it's been a terrible experience. The thing is, you once made the decision to marry which tells me you're most likely a couples kind of person. You like being in a relationship. You like being close. I'm in no way suggesting you must date, get in another intimate relationship or get married. I'm simply suggesting you entertain the possibility of dating.
How will you know when you're ready? Read more here…
Get information and reviews about dating sites here…

Saturday, August 17, 2013

How To Up Your Wellness Quotient Post-Divorce

It goes without saying that divorce is a stressful time. What people often don't realize is that it's the stress which makes it the right time to examine your wellness plan. I know, you probably don't have one, and, being so stressed out, you think you don't have time to create one. In fact, it's times like these that you absolutely, positively must make time to take care of yourself. It can take surprisingly little time to up your wellness quotient just a bit. 

The first thing to consider is what wellness means to you. I suggest a three-pronged approach in which you consider your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. I'm not a purist as to how you might define each. What's important is that you spend a little time on each area assessing how you're doing, what's going well and what's not going so well.

Many of my clients look at their physical status once the divorce dust settles. When you're thinking of dating it's hard not to think about what shape you're in. Read more here...

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Guest Post: Divorce Trends…Fact vs Fiction

When you get married, very few people are even considering the possibility of divorce. Even so, nearly 45% of the marriages in the United States will end in divorce—that’s a little less than half. Why is divorce so common and how can you minimize your risks of getting divorced yourself?

The most important thing to consider when you hear divorce statistics is that not everybody has their facts straight. Many people are simply repeating hearsay they got from their friends, and the information is actually years out of date or entirely fabricated. That’s why we did some research of our own, and found out the down low on divorce from reputable sources.

As it turns out, divorce isn’t on the rise, like many people claim. Divorce rates have been falling in the US since 1981. But it isn’t because people are getting divorced less often. The far more likely explanation is that fewer people are getting married at all, and instead opting to co-habit without tying the knot. There is, however, one demographic in the United States for whom the divorce rate is going up, but it’s not young people who made a mistake—it’s the 50-65 year of demographic, many of whom have waited until their children are out of the house to get their divorce. Divorce after 50 is more common than you think!

There are many other statistics on divorce that may surprise you. We compiled the six biggest trends on divorce, to help you tell fact from fiction. Maybe it will even help you avoid divorce in your future. Read more here…