Thursday, September 18, 2014

When It Rains, It Pours: The Ups And Downs Of Life



Accidents, death and Robin Williams can teach you to turn heartbreak into optimism and action. 

As a self-employed member of the sandwich generation, no matter what happens, I have to try to keep working. In the last five days, my son broke his foot, my mother sprained her ankle and I learned that a colleague, 10 years younger than I, was killed in a car accident. And Robin William died. Talk about a downpour.

My son is halfway across the country, almost 21, and said I didn't need to come. He has his teammates, trainers, coaches, gf and her parents. This being the first week of soccer pre-season, it's heartbreaking. I hope he will learn more about coping with adversity and grow stronger for this experience.

There's nothing to be done about my colleague who was also halfway across the country. It's heartbreaking but it reminds me that life is short and I must try even harder to use my time wisely. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Messy Life? Here's How You Can Declutter

I know you're not worrying about the clutter in your home post-divorce...but how about the clutter in your mind? Here are some suggestions for real clutter, cluttered minds or other important behavior changes....



Despite recent evidence suggesting that a cluttered desk leads to a creative (not cluttered) mind, I'm determined to declutter. It's difficult to be creative when you can't find your ideas buried in piles of articles, legal pads and journals, or elsewhere on tiny scraps of paper and sticky notes. Not that you could tell by looking, but I prefer the esthetic of a neat, organized workspace.


Here are my six simple steps for decluttering and other change:


1.  Identify the change. Name it so you make the change you want clear--having spent a marathon weekend clearing out the detritus of a project I recently completed, my goal is to remain clutter-free. You might decide you no longer want to act like a shy person, or you want to stop eating junk food or you want to start exercising daily. Many changes are possible by following the steps.  









Saturday, August 16, 2014

Sunday, July 20, 2014

7 Ways We Rationalize The Happiness Out Of Life

One of the post-divorce tasks we all face is finding our happiness. Here are some tips from an article originally published on YourTango.

As I approach a birthday, one with a ginormous number, a wise coach posed the question: If not now, when? I was grumbling about how I hadn't been getting enough done but I really wanted to spend more time reading, watching movies and the World Cup, in other words, engaging in activities that would result in getting even less done. If not now, when?, she asked.

My coach had a valid point. Perhaps you use some of these same rationalizations, as you avoid pursuing your passions and desires: 

1.  I'll do it next year. It might be the big trip you've been talking about for eons. Perhaps time and/or money are getting in the way of you taking that Alaskan cruise or visiting India. These are my fantasy trips, not yours, but surely you have a place you've always wanted to go? Or that thing you've been hoping to get to do? 



Tuesday, July 15, 2014

10 Tips For Re-Entering The Dating Scene After Divorce



This article was originally published last week on YourTango, co-authored by me, Cindy Holbrook and Margaret Jacobson:

The first date you have after (or during) your divorce is magical. You anticipate new love, new romance and even simply new friendship and camaraderie. It seems so dreamy, so playful and thrilling after all we've been through with our divorce or an intense severing of a relationship. The reality is we are recreating who we are anew.

It's hard enough to put ourselves out there again for a first date much less to actually go on it.

Read more here...


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Preparing for Your First Date Post-Divorce


Everything You Need to Know and Feel To Get Started Again.

Tune into Voice America to hear me interviewed by Margaret Jacobson, The Mother Rising, on how to get ready for that first post-divorce date. You listen during the show at 7:00PM ET, or later, at your convenience.

You can also call in with questions at 1-888-346-9141.

Click here...