Tuesday, January 17, 2017
As Daniel Gilbert described in his aptly named book, Stumbling on Happiness, we don't always know what will make us happy. The same can be said about finding partners for relationships that are likely to make us happy.
My clients and friends tend to have a laundry list of things to look for in a guy, who absolutely, positively has to be attractive and intelligent, love the beach (especially for watching a sunrise or sunset), speak a few languages, enjoy travel, desire many children, and many more.
You may want to reconsider that list.
While we say we want a handsome mate, if we also want an understanding one (as most of us do), recent research shows that the handsome partner who is not understanding will be a terrible disappointment.
Read more here...
Saturday, December 31, 2016
My teenage son bought me a Kavu bag for my birthday to complete my "hippie look." It was the perfect gift given only by someone who really gets you. I thought about how strong our relationship has become.
Similar to many post-divorce occurrences, it's not that it couldn't have happened when I was married, it's just that it counts as one of many happy results emerging from an unhappy situation.
These are 10 lessons I learned from those happy results of life after divorce:
1. I can be closer to my child. I'm not saying you can't be married and close to your children. But often there seems to be a unique bond between the divorced and their children. Not having to divide attention between spouse and child accounts for some of it.
Maybe the rest comes from having to live together through difficult times. I'm grateful for that closeness and work hard to cultivate it.
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Anxiety comes with the territory post-divorce. You might need more than your pet. Here's a recent post on why, and how to reduce anxiety.
I was on a recent teletherapy call with an anxious young college student. Let's call him Robbie. Half-way in he told me he thought he needed an ESA. ESA, I thought…is that one of those texting anagrams I should know, like FOMO or YOLO? Before I had a chance to ask, Robbie said that having his long-time companion, his adored tabby, in his dorm room would make his anxiety manageable.
It came to me in a flash: Emotional Support Animal. I'd read about these. A quick Google search after the call revealed that people are contacting teletherapy services, like the one I took Robbie's call on, to obtain virtually (pun intended) immediate certification to have their ERAs in dorms, pet-unfriendly apartments and on airplanes.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
The post-divorce period can be a time to remake yourself. Consider whether your image needs a change..or not. My recent post is about just that. It starts like this:
Kathleen Kennedy Townsend recently chided folks for how powerful women are treated. From her experience we can only infer that a powerful woman must wear rouge, stockings, heels and not too many bracelets. Ridiculous, you say; no one calls it rouge any more. It's dated, right? But I think not.
Witness the recent clamor over Hillary Clinton's smile, or more appropriately, her lack thereof. Then there was the grumbling about Harriet Tubman's facial expression in preparation for the 20. A NY Times article about the resting bitch face, or RBF, noted that some see Botox, and even surgery, as viable solutions to "the problem." These things made me angry.
I'm not gonna lie; it's personal. When I was a girl, people would often look at me, widen their eyes in an exaggerated way, as if beholding a rare bird or maybe a unicorn, and throw me a slightly confused look. It mystified me because I was not an unusual looking child. Read more here...
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Here are 62 experts weighing in on what not to do.
Read it here and scroll down to find mine...
Read it here and scroll down to find mine...
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
One of my pet peeves is peopling telling me they're just "unlucky," as an explanation for why they don't have a great job, don't live in an exciting city or aren't in a fulfilling relationship. Really?
Even in poker, while there's luck involved, there's also skill and the work of honing that skill. When it comes to being discovered as an actor, or getting that coveted job at an amazing law firm, there's always the luck of being in the right place at the right time, but you're not getting the job without skill and hard work as well.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Click here to see my Spring, 2016 Newsletter, with my recent posts and others I've enjoyed on health and wellness, relationships, dating and post-divorce adjustment. And there's news about my new office. Read it here…