Thursday, September 25, 2014

10 Ways Your Cell Phone Keeps You Disconnected

Following a few cell phone rules will help you develop your presence in the moment. You’ll need this post-divorce to be more engaged, empathetic and confident with others.

My article starts like this:

Being present in the moment means you experience things in real time without being sidetracked by interfering thoughts, worries or distractions. If you’re with someone, it means you’re connecting and listening. If you’re alone, it means you’re more engaged with your activity, relaxed or in flow.

Recent research suggests that our biological ability to connect with and have empathy for others can be affected by cell phone use. When interacting with someone, the cell phone becomes like a third wheel vying for attention. Even when you’re alone, your cell phone is like a 5-year-old, or worse, a group of them, constantly interrupting.

Want to improve your presence and connection? Don’t do the following with your device: 

Use it when you're having face time. I know you can multitask, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. You cannot truly engage with someone or with a group of people while responding to your virtual world. This includes meetings; so annoying to wait for someone to weigh in while they’re finishing their text. If you’re speaking loudly on your phone while in a group, you’re as involved with what the groups thinks as you are with the person with whom you’re speaking. 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

When It Rains, It Pours: The Ups And Downs Of Life

Accidents, death and Robin Williams can teach you to turn heartbreak into optimism and action. 

As a self-employed member of the sandwich generation, no matter what happens, I have to try to keep working. In the last five days, my son broke his foot, my mother sprained her ankle and I learned that a colleague, 10 years younger than I, was killed in a car accident. And Robin William died. Talk about a downpour.

My son is halfway across the country, almost 21, and said I didn't need to come. He has his teammates, trainers, coaches, gf and her parents. This being the first week of soccer pre-season, it's heartbreaking. I hope he will learn more about coping with adversity and grow stronger for this experience.

There's nothing to be done about my colleague who was also halfway across the country. It's heartbreaking but it reminds me that life is short and I must try even harder to use my time wisely. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Messy Life? Here's How You Can Declutter

I know you're not worrying about the clutter in your home post-divorce...but how about the clutter in your mind? Here are some suggestions for real clutter, cluttered minds or other important behavior changes....

Despite recent evidence suggesting that a cluttered desk leads to a creative (not cluttered) mind, I'm determined to declutter. It's difficult to be creative when you can't find your ideas buried in piles of articles, legal pads and journals, or elsewhere on tiny scraps of paper and sticky notes. Not that you could tell by looking, but I prefer the esthetic of a neat, organized workspace.

Here are my six simple steps for decluttering and other change:

1.  Identify the change. Name it so you make the change you want clear--having spent a marathon weekend clearing out the detritus of a project I recently completed, my goal is to remain clutter-free. You might decide you no longer want to act like a shy person, or you want to stop eating junk food or you want to start exercising daily. Many changes are possible by following the steps.