Wednesday, December 31, 2014

7 Times Love At First Sight Can Actually Happen

Ready to date? Of course you are, or see, "How to know you're ready to date after divorce," if you're not sure. One thing we still ponder, even after we've already parted from the presumed love of our life, is whether we can have love at first sight again, or for the first time. That's what this article is about. It begins,

Renée Zellweger explained it to Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire with, "You had me at 'hello'." Many of us have experienced it. According to a recent survey, 57% of Americans believe it can happen. There are many reasons we meet someone and later proclaim, "It was love at first sight.

You be the judge of whether these factors behind the love at first sight phenomenon reflect true love:

1.  Your radar instantly detects your perfect match.  

 Be it washed out jeans, dirty blond, slightly unkempt hair and a copy of the very novel you are reading in hand, or a designer suit, expensive haircut and leather briefcase on deck, a quick look reveals a lot about someone. You compare the information with your perfect-mate template in nanoseconds and it's a match, or not. It's not just superficial. Appearance gives you information about a stranger. What you wear and carry signal some of the things you find important. 

Read more here... 

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Sunday, December 21, 2014

7 Reasons You May Be Anxious About Getting Help…But Don't Be!

If there was ever a time you might want to consider getting some professional help, post-divorce is certainly that time. But people often have anxiety about moving forward to coaching or therapy. My article is about why you should not let your worries stop you. It starts like this...

Many of us love the holidays. Perhaps an equal number loathe them. Either way, they're filled with stress. Visiting one's dysfunctional family, or not seeing said family, giving or receiving the right gifts, being with a challenging partner or feeling alone, these are just a few of the issues that come up for us this time of year.

A surprising number of my psychotherapy clients tell me they worry that they won't have enough to talk about to fill the 45 minutes. My coaching clients sometimes have concerns about how well they're using the time. Many clients come to me saying how long they've waited before finally making the call to schedule an appointment.

These are some of the specific concerns I hear and the reasons they should NOT keep you from getting some help:  

1. My issues are boring. Starting therapy or coaching does not mean you are entering a contest for who has the most interesting, exotic or unique life. Your difficulties, be they holiday concerns, boyfriend problems, problems with your sister, boss or children, are the stuff of therapy and coaching. Yes, people all over the world are fighting for freedom, suffering injustice and the like, but I'm there to guide you through your procrastination, insomnia or panic, not to end world hunger. 

Read more here... 


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Need A Boost Of Confidence? First, Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

We all need more confidence post-divorce, and the mental and physical strength to cope with stress. This article looks at developing the skills to face adversity. It begins...

Why enter a road race? If I say, Because it's fun, I can hear the groans already. Another reason I do it is because it's out of my comfort zone. I've been running a long time and running on my own is easy. But entering a race, sitting in my hotel room alone the night before, checking my gear for the nth time, wondering just how much colder the wind will make it feel, anxiously trying to sleep and then waking up early, with nervous anticipation, sometimes I really wonder why I do it.

I've decided it's all about getting out of my comfort zone and becoming stronger—not just physically stronger, but mentally stronger. Here's how it works:

The Positive Mindset

As Olympic runner Jeff Galloway said, "The more you frame the marathon as a stressful experience, the more negative messages you will receive." Sitting in my hotel room I sometimes have a negative mindset, worrying about the potential problems and pitfalls of the next day's race. To shake that, I remind myself of how I'll feel walking toward the starting line with fellow-runners, talking about last year's race, those we've run recently and upcoming events, and my positive mindset kicks in. 

Read more here...