Monday, August 14, 2017

How To STOP Feeling Lazy, Guilty & Selfish For Taking Care Of Yourself

Now more than ever, you need to take care of you. Here's my recent piece on giving yourself permission for self-care.

Women tell me all the time how they want to slow down and take time out from their busy lives to chill, but they can't.

They tell me there's way too much to do to keep things going in their world, and no one else to do it.

Besides, they tell me, taking time for myself is selfish.

They tell me doing stuff for the kids, partner, parents, grandparents, friends, dogs, cats, is more important than me-time.

When they do make time for exercise, yoga, painting or a class, they feel guilty. Isn't cooking and freezing meals for the next decade, helping kids with their homework and vacuuming dog hair for the umpteenth time this week more important than self-improvement?

When they sit and read, take a walk or meditate for 30 minutes they wonder if they're being lazy. What about the cabinets to be cleaned, the extra work they could be doing at their job or preparing the gourmet meal their partner would be thrilled with?

The oxygen-on-the-plane metaphor is something I often invoke. Everyone understands that if you can't breathe you can't help your 4-year-old breathe. Think of taking a little time for solitude as something to help you breathe.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

3 Ways To Build A Super Strong Bromance (Because Guys Need Friends, Too!)

One of the things that's really helpful post-divorce is your friends. If you're like many guys, you may have neglected friendships, so here's my take on building them back up...

There are have been a lot of famous bromances throughout history. Explorers Lewis and Clark. Presidents Adams and Jefferson. Authors J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. President Obama and VP Biden. And, of course, a bromance for the ages: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
But don't laugh at or make light of the bromance! Because research shows that relationships — friendships included —  are among the most important factors contributing to happiness and longevity. Yes, your (or your man's) bromance might just help him live longer!
That's because loneliness is unhealthy and breeds stress.
According to Geoffrey Greif, psychologist and author of Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships, both men and women expect friends to be understanding, trustworthy, dependable individuals with whom we have things in common.
But we may not teach boys and men how to be good friends. 
Read more here…