Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Am I As Crazy As Amazing Amy? Take The Test Here

You'll be getting back into the dating and relationship scene soon, if you haven't started already. My recent YourTango piece suggests a couple of cautions.

When "Gone Girl," the book, came out, friends wondered if I'd ever worked with anyone like the main character, psychopath Amy, aka, Amazing Amy. Not to be confused with the garden variety narcissist, the psychopath has a much darker side.

The narcissist will exploit anyone for their own gain, believes in their superiority to others in all things and is vain, self-involved and infuriatingly entitled…kind of like Amy's husband Nick.

Gillian Flynn's Amy has the hallmark signs of the psychopath—her outwardly normal appearance masks her utter lack of conventional morality and the absence of all concern for the welfare of others.

Now that the movie is out, I'm faced with the question again. In answer I decided to post my own questions, including the important one everyone asks themselves: Am I as crazy as Amy? You be the judge.

Have you ever:

1. Thought your partner might be cheating and:

a.       Looked through her phone—harmless enough, right? 
b.      Followed her— if she's got nothing to hide...
c.       Installed spyware on her phone—she'll never know.
d.      All of the above

Monday, October 6, 2014

The Post-Divorce Survival Guide

A Kindle Countdown deal for The Post-Divorce Survival Guide. Tools for Your Journey, starts on Amazon.com on October 6th when the book is available for $0.99. It runs through October 13th, with the price going up through the week.

The book helps the reader manage and thrive in the difficult situations and adverse conditions that arise in the wake of divorce. I call on my personal experience and years of work with clients going through this devastating life event to demonstrate how you can emerge even better than before.

 It's a fun read despite the somber topic!

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Got Kids? Don't Overreact To Your Ex's Dating Choices

You may like Gwyneth Paltrow as a lifestyle guru, or not, but don't choose her as your post-divorce model. If the report that she's trying to keep Chris from having their kids around his new, younger gf, or even mentioning J. Law's name around them is true, at best, it's silly. Not that I blame her for wanting to control her children's exposure to new relationships, but this sort of micromanaging is unwarranted.

These are the reasons to relinquish control over your ex's relationships post-divorce: 

1.  The Person. Unless a person is dangerous or clearly a bad influence—they come around your kids drunk, high or advocating illegal activities—you're going to have to step aside. While you would hope your ex exercises good judgment, their judgment will probably be about the same as it was when you were married, for better or for worse.