7 Ways We Rationalize The Happiness Out Of Life

One of the post-divorce tasks we all face is finding our happiness. Here are some tips from an article originally published on YourTango.

As I approach a birthday, one with a ginormous number, a wise coach posed the question: If not now, when? I was grumbling about how I hadn't been getting enough done but I really wanted to spend more time reading, watching movies and the World Cup, in other words, engaging in activities that would result in getting even less done. If not now, when?, she asked.

My coach had a valid point. Perhaps you use some of these same rationalizations, as you avoid pursuing your passions and desires: 

1.  I'll do it next year. It might be the big trip you've been talking about for eons. Perhaps time and/or money are getting in the way of you taking that Alaskan cruise or visiting India. These are my fantasy trips, not yours, but surely you have a place you've always wanted to go? Or that thing you've been hoping to get to do? 

Read more here... 

Lose the Pros and Cons and Hire Your Next Partner

Have you ever made a list of the qualities you want in your post-divorce boyfriend? If you have, you're definitely not alone. Many of my clients come in with such lists. Some have the list in their heads, while others whip them out on pieces of paper, like a grocery list. 

Snarky, sexy and un-pierced may have replaced the old tall, dark, handsome, but we still like to list the pros and cons. We struggle to decide whether or not someone is boyfriend-material.

I'd like to propose an alternative: hire your next boyfriend like Google hires its staff. Thomas L. Friedman's recent piece explains what Google looks for when they're interviewing. I think they're looking for exactly the type of person you're looking for. My take on these qualities includes: 

Humility. People who are humble don't blame others for their own mistakes. Read more here...

 

My One True Love Has Never Forsaken Me

My Valentine's Day musings led me consider my true loves. Since I am the post-divorce queen, I thought a lot about what my sisters and brothers are going through post-divorce. I worried about all those in the land of the single, wondering when their next Valentine would arrive. 

I realized that there is only one true love that has never forsaken me.

These are some of the things I noticed about my true love:

•  We were friends first. 
•  I explored my doubts and didn't rush things. 
• When I was ready, I totally committed and put all my eggs in one basket.    
• I am not jealous in this relationship. 
• I always feel I can be authentic.  

Read more here...