Thursday, February 16, 2012

Celebrating Valentine’s Day Post-Divorce (And Other Special Occasions)

I could have been a little more timely, but it took awhile for Valentine’s Day to sink in this year.  Post-divorce holidays like Valentine’s Day can be trying and particularly uncelebratory.

My tips for your post-divorce Valentine’s Day (or other special occasion)

*Perhaps it’s not such a special day after all.  I don’t mean to be a scrooge, but does anyone really celebrate their love?  And they don’t call them hallmark holidays for nothing, do they?  So my suggestion: don’t make it such a big deal.  This works for birthdays, mother’s/father’s days and other similar made up holidays.

*You still love people, right?  So how can you make their day brighter?  If you absolutely, positively have to celebrate, why not celebrate someone else’s day.  Your kid, your co-worker, your mother…you get the idea.  Take the focus off you.  It helps.  This works for other “special” days as well; just find someone else to celebrate.

*Holidays like Valentine’s Day are primarily about cards, chocolate and whatever else your tradition has been.  What’s stopping you from buying your own chocolate and flowers?  Let’s face it, does chocolate taste any better because someone else has bought it for you?  I think not.  It’s your birthday?  That watch you’ve had your eye on will look just as good and work just as well if you buy it for yourself.

*I’ve always tried to send my single friends Valentines.  People may not be accustomed to you being single.  Sometimes it helps to tell your friends what you need.  Specifically.  Like, send me a card next year if I’m still single, please.  Flowers would be nice too.  And apply the same strategy to other special occasions.

So I say celebrate!  Just celebrate a little differently.  Be creative and make your own special occasion.

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