Relationships Are Whatever You Make Them

Growing up on the kind of romantic comedies that Doris Day and Kathryn Hepburn made, and Leave it to Beaver, it's hard to see how I was not flummoxed by the other things I grew up with, like West Side Story, Gone with the Wind, and The King and I. In these latter, boy-meets-girl, but they sure don't turn out like a Doris Day/Rock Hudson, or Tracy and Hepburn film. We didn't know Rock's back-story until he was dying. Tracy and Hepburn were a not-just-movie couple, never living openly as a couple. Things were not always as perfect as they seemed. 

As Maria Bello concluded in her wonderful "Modern Love" piece, "Maybe…a modern family is just a more honest family." With my post-divorce coaching specialty, I am constantly confronted by people trying to put together new families, often with pieces that seem very disparate to them. There are the ex, the new lover, the step-kids from the now-ex-spouse, the ex-in-laws, and everyone's friends, among others.

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Post-Divorce Dilemma: How Many Dates Do You Wait Until The First Kiss?

How many dates does one wait until the first kiss? It's an agonizing question that often comes up in coaching or therapy with the post-divorce set. It's usually prefaced by some nail biting, along with, "I've been out of the whole dating scene for so long," or, "I have no idea of how dating works anymore." 

A new study conducted by DatingAdvice.com found that, "25 percent of Americans would wait until the third date or later to kiss for the first time."

One could also say that 75 percent of American would not wait until the third date or later to kiss for the first time. That number soars to 82 percent for us post-divorce folks. 

What's a girl, or guy, to do? There's no short answer to this, but here are some things to consider.  Read more here…

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Mood music: Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not?, Thompson Square