The Divorce Hotel

On these pages I write of the post-divorce experience.  I’ve written about post-divorce gifts and celebrations.  But this pre-divorce experience simply takes the cake (which I’ve also written about) so to speak.  You’ve gotta have some dough to be able to check into the divorce hotel.

It’s just what it sounds like.  Check in married.  Check out divorced.  And as Tom Miller was shrewd enough to note, you get some hot hotel sex in between.  If you play your cards right, perhaps your favorite room service treats as well.

Does this cheapen and undermine the sanctity of marriage?  I would posit that anything that makes the divorce process easier is a good thing.  It won’t make it any easier to decide to divorce.  People won’t be saying, Oh, let’s get a divorce so we can go to the divorce hotel, will they? It might just ease a little of the stress around the nuts and bolts of the thing.

Really, I just posted this hoping my unsuspecting readers would get a little chuckle.  Anything that creates humor post-divorce is definitely a good thing.

Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off, Billie Holiday

Celebrating Valentine’s Day Post-Divorce (And Other Special Occasions)

I could have been a little more timely, but it took awhile for Valentine’s Day to sink in this year.  Post-divorce holidays like Valentine’s Day can be trying and particularly uncelebratory.

My tips for your post-divorce Valentine’s Day (or other special occasion)

*Perhaps it’s not such a special day after all.  I don’t mean to be a scrooge, but does anyone really celebrate their love?  And they don’t call them hallmark holidays for nothing, do they?  So my suggestion: don’t make it such a big deal.  This works for birthdays, mother’s/father’s days and other similar made up holidays.

*You still love people, right?  So how can you make their day brighter?  If you absolutely, positively have to celebrate, why not celebrate someone else’s day.  Your kid, your co-worker, your mother…you get the idea.  Take the focus off you.  It helps.  This works for other “special” days as well; just find someone else to celebrate.

*Holidays like Valentine’s Day are primarily about cards, chocolate and whatever else your tradition has been.  What’s stopping you from buying your own chocolate and flowers?  Let’s face it, does chocolate taste any better because someone else has bought it for you?  I think not.  It’s your birthday?  That watch you’ve had your eye on will look just as good and work just as well if you buy it for yourself.

*I’ve always tried to send my single friends Valentines.  People may not be accustomed to you being single.  Sometimes it helps to tell your friends what you need.  Specifically.  Like, send me a card next year if I’m still single, please.  Flowers would be nice too.  And apply the same strategy to other special occasions.

So I say celebrate!  Just celebrate a little differently.  Be creative and make your own special occasion.

Someone Like You, Adele

Post-Divorce Celebration

What’s a celebration without a cake?  Along with my ex-wife’s wedding dress and the divorce gift registry, nothing says I don’t love you any more better than a snarky cake.  I’m not recommending hate and negativity.  But I do recommend, whenever possible, that you try not taking yourself so seriously.

Celebration is an important acknowledgment of a job well done.  I’m not saying we want to celebrate divorce.  It’s usually difficult and sad.  I am saying we can celebrate our new lives regardless of how we got there.

My suggestions for celebrating:

Laughter is a great antidote to anger and depression.  Part of wellness is the ability to laugh often, and often laugh at yourself.

Have a post-divorce party.  Maybe everyone tells their favorite funny story about you.

Take a vacation with friends and spend one day doing everything your way. 

My challenge:

You find something to do in celebration of your new life.  And yuk it up.

Don’t pass me by, The Beatles