Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Use Your Emotional Intelligence Post-Divorce

Having just written a blog about EI, I started thinking about how to use some of the concepts for the post-divorce adjustment period. EI is all about skills for managing emotions, ours and others’, so it seems appropriate to consider in the turmoil post- divorce. Here are a few ideas.

Be authentic, not phony. What a great time to set the intention of being who you really are. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s fantasy of who they want you to be. Be yourself. And if you’re not sure who you are, find out. Try different things. Experiment. Have fun.

Be centered, not reactive. What calms you down, relaxes you and allows you to take things as they come? Whatever it is, do it. A lot. Use all the mindfulness skills at your disposal to be able to act with awareness, nonjudgmentally. Be kind to yourself.

Be resilient, not fragile. It really is a marathon. You’re not going to sprint through the post-divorce period. Think about what you’d need to do to run a marathon. You’d need a goal, a plan, support, positivity and dedication. Think about all the difficult things you’ve accomplished in your life. This is no time to wimp out. You’re tough. Show it.

Be present, not absent. Being present is about being able to experience things in the moment without getting sidetracked by thoughts, worries or predetermined ideas. Presence is about being confident in your own skin because you’re an important, worthwhile, talented person with lots to offer. Fill the space you enter with everything you are. Make an impression.

Be Here Now, George Harrison

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