Sunday, May 1, 2011

Life Balance Post-Divorce

I’ve been writing about work-life balance, something I’ve written about before.  It occurred to me that the topic was relevant to post-divorce in a few novel ways.

First, you’re going it alone, where previously you were a couple.  It’s not necessarily a problem, but it’s different.  I find this a most interesting area.  As a couple, you must place some your desires secondary to the well-being of the couple.  If you didn’t, perhaps this has something to do with why you’re divorced.  If you did, here’s your chance to put you first.  I don’t mean to the exclusion of others in your life, but you simply don’t have that other person whose desires get equal weight.    I’m very happy when people find it possible to prioritize new or dormant interests as a result of singledom.

Second, you’re juggling new things, things you may not have been concerned with before, like dating or spending more time with friends.  This might include, less fun though, more childcare juggling or household responsibility juggling.  You can’t make more time, but you can make the time more meaningful with mindful awareness.  Engaging, focusing and connecting when engaged in various activities makes each one more meaningful.

Third, you may be doing more stress-management for the obvious reasons, necessitating even more time-management.  Managing your stress is important for a variety of reasons including your happiness and that of those around you at work and at home.  Planning is key here.  You must schedule decompression activities, whatever they may be.  Whether it’s walking, reading, puzzling or making music, and the list is endless, you have to include some fun and relaxation in your schedule.
 Sometimes it seems overwhelming, but it can be done.  Prioritizing, mindful awareness and planning all help reduce the overwhelm.

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