Saturday, September 25, 2010
Post-Divorce 12-Step Program
My 60-second post-divorce 12-step manual.
Step 1. Recognize you were powerless to stop the divorce. It happened. What’s done is done.
Step 2. Only a power greater than ourselves can restore sanity, e.g., running, yoga, mindfulness, god, therapy, coaching.
Step 3. Turn yourself over to the greater power. You must want to get better and move on.
Step 4. Make a fearless moral inventory. How have you lived your life? And how do you want to live it? This is a good time for a change.
Step 5. Admit your wrongs. Identify weaknesses and failings.
Steps 6 and 7. Be ready to have your greater power remove these defects. Whatever your greater power, put it to work here. Personally, I think that means you. Work to get your act together.
Step 8. Make a list of those you have harmed. There are always those we have pushed aside if not downright harmed, particularly in the midst of the post-divorce trauma, if not before.
Step 9. Make amends to those you have harmed. It’s a good time to sort out your issues with people.
Step 10. Continue with your personal inventory and when wrong, admit it promptly.
Step 11. Through prayer and meditation (or running, music, etc). improve our connection with our higher power.
Step 12. Carry the message to others. I survived divorce. You can too!
I like the 12-step focus on being a better person. It’s a good focus for all that negative post-divorce energy.
Mood music: Addicted to Love, Robert Palmer.