Tuesday, October 31, 2017

How To Quietly Rage Against Ageism (And Grow Older Gracefully)

One of the things I started doing post divorce was road-racing. It was a real jump-starter, so to speak. I talk about it in this recent article.

The running community is awesome. You make friends training, racing, or out for a casual jog. We’re all equal. If you can keep up with the group, you’re in. Age, ethnicity, and gender are irrelevant.
Or so I thought.
Not long ago, I ran a 10K — far from my first. The race was a combined 5K and 10K. If you’ve never run one of those, as you might guess, there’s a point at which the 5K and 10K groups divide.
As I approached the split, the specter of ageism first appeared.


I could see and hear — despite my no doubt rapidly declining faculties — a guy yelling out the split: 5Ks to the left, 10Ks to the right. He repeated 5K slightly more insistently and pointed left as I approached. Hmm.
Then I got closer, and, since my cognitive abilities are still relatively intact, or at least I like to think so, I was already on the right. And another guy actually repeated, more loudly as I got to the split, "5K, 5K, 5K!" urgent gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left.
Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I’m pretty sure he was convinced I looked too old for the 10K.


Read more here...


Monday, October 9, 2017

How To Deal With (And Get OVER) The Roughest Times In Your Life

Dealing with divorce or surely one example of getting over the roughtest time in your life. Here's my latest piece on how to do that.

Life is not a bowl of cherries…it's more like the box of chocolates Forrest Gump's mother told him about…you never know what you're going to get.

Those chocolates you'd rather not be eating, they're what drive people to therapy. When I consider the issues people often bring to therapy…coping with a loss, a personal failure, an empty nest, a divorce…it seems like some bounce back much more quickly than others. What's the magic ingredient?

A new theory of adaptability suggests that diversifying your personal portfolio is a sustainable method of boosting your resilience to the ups and downs of life.

Do you know how your investment portfolio is supposed to be diversified? You have stocks, bonds, mutual funds, property and the like, some riskier than others. While you probably won't get rich quick, you will avoid taking a hard fall that totally wipes you out. A diversified portfolio makes your financial well-being more resilient to the ups and downs of the market.


There is evidence that expanding the number of roles, relationships and experiences in your life provides a kind of personal diversification that increases emotional resilience, that ability to bounce back, along with happiness and self-esteem.