What Can You Do About Ageism? Play By Your Own Rules

                                                              Photo by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash

                            Take charge and do things that create wellbeing regardless of your age.

Divorced and getting older (who isn't)? This piece contains tips for ageing well regardless of your situation.

While minding my own business, reading a book review on-line, up pops an ad, “Finally, A Great Lipstick For The Mature Woman.” Later, on a weather app, “Trendy Dresses for Older Women.” Google, as always, was minding my business.

It’s not just the internet pointing out your age, it’s other people. From the physician telling you after a fall that hiking is something to reconsider, to the endless griping about the gerontocracy in our government, people tell us we’re old and there’s stuff we just shouldn’t be doing anymore.

These rules about the dos and don’ts of aging have effects. Ageism abounds and so does its negative impact on your health. It can literally shorten your life.

If you believe the ageism messages saying you can no longer do certain things and be a meaningful member of society, it’s the self-fulfilling prophecy on steroids. The self-fulfilling prophecy is the idea that when you think something is going to happen, then it’s pretty easy to alter your behavior to align with that belief—Oh, I’m too old to learn a language? No point trying to learn Italian.

In fact, research has shown that, as we age, we tend to experience higher levels of wellbeing, greater satisfaction with life and even more emotional stability.  

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How To Quietly Rage Against Ageism (And Grow Older Gracefully)

One of the things I started doing post divorce was road-racing. It was a real jump-starter, so to speak. I talk about it in this recent article.

The running community is awesome. You make friends training, racing, or out for a casual jog. We’re all equal. If you can keep up with the group, you’re in. Age, ethnicity, and gender are irrelevant.

Or so I thought.

Not long ago, I ran a 10K — far from my first. The race was a combined 5K and 10K. If you’ve never run one of those, as you might guess, there’s a point at which the 5K and 10K groups divide.

As I approached the split, the specter of ageism first appeared.

I could see and hear — despite my no doubt rapidly declining faculties — a guy yelling out the split: 5Ks to the left, 10Ks to the right. He repeated 5K slightly more insistently and pointed left as I approached. Hmm.

Then I got closer, and, since my cognitive abilities are still relatively intact, or at least I like to think so, I was already on the right. And another guy actually repeated, more loudly as I got to the split, "5K, 5K, 5K!" urgent gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left.

Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I’m pretty sure he was convinced I looked too old for the 10K.


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